I was driving down the DVP at sunset today, between Donmills and Bayview/Bloor, and was hit with an overwhelming wave of nostalgia. I wasn't sure at first precisely what it was that reminded me of a splice of home...was it the sunset? No, it was definitely a different type of sunset than Calgary...it was a muggy sunset, not a cold, crisp, cotton candy sunset. It wasn't the landscape either...I was surrounded by lush green trees on either side, going 120 [which by the way is way faster than I ever drove in Calgary]. Could it be the music, I thought, as I opened up my sunroof and sang my heart out to PM Dawn [Set Adrift on Memory Bliss]?
Then it hit me...it felt akin to the curves of 14th Street in Calgary, all those times when I was on my way home with Nosehill on my left and the city on my right. I used to love reaching that stretch of road -- when my phone would lose reception for a bit, and i could see the bright moon against the velvet sky, with the city lights glittering in the distance, and the stars poking holes up above. How I loved to reflect...with no one on the road but me, coming home from somewhere or the other, following the twists and curves and singing my heart out to songs especially made for whatever mood the moon put me in that day.
So I've moved to Toronto...and I had various requests to blog my move...but every time i tried to write about it I came up with nothing to say. I've been here for 4 months now and that first pang of nostalgia made me realize that...wow, i miss home sometimes! I wasn't sure when I'd feel inspired to write, but I guess the time is now. Moving was surreal. I guess I'll start from where I left off in my last post. Living in Calgary for 8 months after Europe was daunting at first, given the circumstances. But I needed to touch base. I needed to feel the comforts of home to realize I had outgrown the city.
I made new friends, reconnected with past companions, closed old chapters. I heard it everywhere - "I want to move, I want to get out of Calgary, I want to live somewhere else". I became one of those voices in the crowd....but something was different, my resolve changed. And before I knew it, opportunity struck. Like my favorite quote in The Alchemist - " When you want something bad enough, the universe conspires to help you acheive it". I packed up my childhood in 19 UHaul boxes, with a neatly catagorized Excel spreadsheet detailing my packing strategy to boot. My feet on the ground, my eyes wet, my heart anxious, my mind eerily calm. It was hard, it was easy. I was never good at goodbyes.
And then life spun around! For the first couple of months I was living in a hotel in the heart of the city, eating at random cafes and swanky restaurants alike, soaking in the sun and the patios and street buskers and festivals. One day I caught a random concert at Dundas Square, it was 70's theme and "Got to be Real" [Cheryl Lynn] was blasting...I was so happy to be right where I was that very moment that I almost cried.
This city is exhausting, but also exhilarating. There is so much to do and see, and so many people walking around at all hours of the day! I have explored Danforth (the greek area), frequented most of the restuarants and cafes in Little Italy, and of course eaten pani puri and masala dosaa in the colorful stink of Gerrard. I love the pretentiousness of Bloor Street and frequently dream of owning a downtown condo while sipping on a Starbucks honey latte. Yesterday i went to the beaches area and I could have sworn the air felt salty, like i was somewhere else, somewhere far away and not by any means at Lake Ontario. There is always something going on, always good music, great fashion, awesome shopping, and so so many different types of people! Sometimes i really feel like a farm girl when I hear people talking in Jamaican accents because I really thought that only happened in music videos!!
But everything aside, home is home. I miss those warm summer nights in Calgary, the berries on the trees in my cul-de-sac, the dry heat and the yellow wheat set against the azure sky. The mountains, the glittery cold, the crisp fall, the xmas lights in the mall. My mailbox, the rabbits in my yard, the bike path....ah, the familiar haunts of home. But i'm ready...to embrace it here. This city has so much to offer, not to mention i have a castle at my doorstep. It is exciting and scary at the same time, I did it - I moved, and a part of me wants to pinch myself because I dont know if this actually happened or if I am just dreaming this in my leopard bed with my pink carpet and my artwork strewn all over the wall. Somewhere along the way I think I grew up...not that i'll ever grow out of leopard print....but at least i don't consider it appropriate bedroom linen anymore. Yes sir, i've grown up and out of leopard print sheets and into high thread count egyptian cotton....when did this happen!?!
So that is my account of moving to Toronto...who knows what the future holds. I'll finish off here with a quote:
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
